Hallucinations

   Another Tuesday, another visit to Susan Kemler, my psychiatrist. She swears up and down that we’re making progress, but I feel just as cold and empty as when I started seeing her last month.

   My “friends” followed me to the appointment, just like they always do. They started whispering in my ear five years ago about how I’m wrong and should just give up and let them control my body. They stopped whispering last year, and instead started to talk louder and more boldly about what they wanted me to do. I listened, just once, and I almost lost my job, my wife, my family, and my apartment.

   “But didn’t it feel good to let loose?”  Jake would always hiss when I remembered that day, usually while licking blood off of his claws. I think I was the blood from my boss’s nose, but I was never sure.

   I collapse down on to the couch facing Dr. Kemler while the voices from my head start to wonder around the room in the forms of three young adults.

   “So how are you doing today Jason?” Susan asked in her overly pleasant way.

   “Well I survived the holidays, so I guess I’m ok. Mostly I just stayed in. I didn’t really feel like dealing with people”

   “That’s because we don’t deserve friends, and our family doesn’t love us.” Ben moaned from the floor where he was hugging his knees.  I tried to ignore him.

   “Any more violent thoughts?”

   “No more than usual”

   “There was a baby screaming in the store yesterday. You should have silenced it.” snarled Jake

   Susan continued asking her questions, and I kept responding evasively, constantly afraid I was going to give away too much and need to be hauled off to the loony bin. At one point, I heard one of the voices in my head saying “That’s a beautiful dress. I wonder where she got it.”

   “Oh, well thank you, Lily. I actually got it at Goodwill” Dr. Kemler responded.

   “I’m sorry?” I said. I was pretty sure that I hadn’t mentioned her dress out loud, and I KNOW I haven’t told her the name of any of the voices in my head. “What did you get at Goodwill?”

   “My dress. Lily was asking where I got it. Didn’t you hear her?”

   “Yes, I did, but how did you?”

   “Well, she’s right there. “ Dr. Kemler pointed directly at the leather-clad woman that I thought only existed in my imagination.  Lily winked and kissed the air in response.

   “You can see her?” Maybe I was crazier than I thought

   “I can see Ben and Jake too, “She said while pointing at the thin boy curled up on the floor and the shaggy man crouching in the corner while picking bugs out of his bread. “ And anyone else that you may be having an issue with.”

   “Why didn’t you say something sooner?  I thought they were just wrapped parts of my psyche, or something like that.”

   “Oh, they are, but sometimes they can cross over into our world, especially if you start believing in their existence too much. Gives them more power you see. These three are pretty bad, but I’ve seen far worse.“

   “But… What… Then… “ I started worrying about who else could see and hear them and whether or not I really was going mad.

   “Don’t worry dear; as we work through your issues, they’ll start to fade. Worst case, we’ll find them a new home.” As I sat there with my jaw hanging open, she turned toward Jake. “So tell me a bit about yourself dear. It’s not often I see a Fury as hairy as you.”